POTF: Rampage!
by KEVITZINN
Summary: What happens when everyone forgets Phil's birthday? Read and be enlightened! This story will shock you, make you laugh, and leave you wanting more! Its a rampage! Chapter 5 is done, and its the last one!
1. Pimple Pimple on the Wall

POTF: Rampage!

Time: Early Morning

Place: The Diffy House

Phil woke up, after dreaming of what his birthday would be like in the past. He dreamed that he would get a new pair of Holy Moleys, and maybe get treated nice by Pim. He dreamed of a day where the family, Curtis and Keely would have a "surprise party" for him, and a nice big cake to top it off. Sadly, his dreams would not come true...

Phil went downstairs where his family waited. He sat down at the table ready to hear, "Happy Birthday!' from his family. Instead, he got silence. He decided to speak up, "So, whatcha gotta say?..." he said. His mom turned around from cooking eggs and smiled. "Good morning." she said, and turned her redhead ass right back around. Pim got up and through gum in his hair, where it got stuck and destroyed his most wonderful feature. Phil was already devastated, and the gum extravaganza put him over the edge.

Usually on his birthday, Phil had an unsightly erection that could not be hidden, even in the largest of pants. Today, he felt nothing, only his shriveled pecker, which shrunk whenever he was devastated. He got up, looked at the calendar and checked the date. It was indeed his birthday, and he wanted his birthday erection, or at least a substitute. He knew only one thing that could give him that,_ and that was murder. _

He looked around the kitchen for a weapon, but all he saw was spray food. Phil would have to improvise. He knew his first victim, it was that gum spewing skank, that whore among children... that Pim Diffy!

Phil picked up a can of spray brownies, and was ready to rock. He ripped of the top of the can, exposing the goo that would become the brownies. The can was half-full, and that was more than enough to do the deed.

Pim was getting ready for her daily trip on the Skyak, when she had to go inside and get the key. This was when Phil made his move. He ran up to the Skyak, open the hood and stuck the can in, right side up. Just as Pim was walking out, Phil finished, and the plan was ready.

"You know I'm better with a Skyak right? " Phil said. "No way!" Pim responded. "Ok then, I challenge you to a flip contest over that active volcano we always have contests over!" Said Phil. Pim agreed and they raced to the volcano. Just as they were approaching the volcano, Phil went up along side Pim and hijacked her Skyak, pushing her into the shark-infested waters below. He watched with glee as the sharks ripped her up and spat her out because she tasted bad. She tasted bad because she was evil, and it made her murder all the funnier. He laughed as the water turned red and she screamed and cursed the fashion zombies to hell. He opened the hood of the Skyak and took out the brownies. They were quite delicious and made her death all the better.

This did un-shrink his penis, but he didn't have his birthday boner. He needed to kill more to achieve it, and that he will. IF you guys like my story!

Tell me whatchu think!


	2. Curtis Falls

POTF: Rampage – Part II

_Curtis Falls_

Time: Mid-Morning 

Place: Pim's death site

Phil had no remorse for his murder, why should he? Everyone forgot his birthday, and that birthday pocket rocket was the greatest! How dare they forget his needs when he was kind to everybody, ... every frickin day of his life! He was set on reaching the height of bonerdom, and he needed to witness more death to reach his fleshy nirvana. He thought one or two more _murders_ would get the job done...maybe he was right, and maybe he was wrong. Either way, he flew back home and looked for his next boner donor.

Just as Phil got back home, his dad greeted him. Puzzled by Pim's absence, he asked where Pim was. Phil smiled grimly, "Let's just say...she went a-courtin' with some sharks," he said, "with _bonerific _results!" Lloyd laughed unknowingly, making Pim's death seem too funny for words. Lloyd finished his hilarious little laugh and than got serious. "All right, now, I know Curtis isn't easy to handle, but could you take him out for a while?" Lloyd asked. Phil chuckled, "Yeah, I'll take him out_...forever!" _ Lloyd gave a confused look, than, taking it as a joke, gave his crazy laugh and went inside. Phil turned to the garage...his penis was already growing.

"Oonga CHUNGA!" Curtis screamed as Phil entered the garage. Phil grabbed the replicator and told Curtis they were going out for a while. As they left the garage, Phil scanned a stuffed bear that they had recently purchased. His plan was set, and it was time for a massive erection. They got on the Skyak and skyaked there way to Kid Rock.

Phil landed on the top of Kid Rock, and started playing around with Curtis. Curtis was having a blast...Phil was getting a _boner. _After a few minutes of playing, Phil got bored and decided he wanted what he deserved. He tossed the ball they were playing with really far so he could set up his next trap. As Curtis ran for the ball, Phil used the replicator to setup the stuffed bear right near the steepest of cliffs...murder was _imminent._

Curtis was running back, screaming in his crazy language, when Phil used his Wizard to tell the surrounding hawks to attack. Curtis let out a final, "Ooga DAGA!" and than the hawks attacked in an awesome pattern. Phil watched, boner amassing, as the hawks flew down in straight lines, taking turns pecking at body parts and organs. He squealed as the hawks flew together to form a giant hawk that bit off Curtis's head. The hawks had gathered bees in their mouths prior to the attack and they spat them all in to the headless carcass of Curtis. The bees slashed at his insides and in one great push blew up his body. Phil danced in the rain of blood and organs.

This gave him average penis size, but it wasn't good enough. He walked to the stuffed bear and proceeded to one of his favorite pastimes...riding stuffed bears down Kid Rock. He knew he would have to climb back up Kid Rock to get his Skyak, but it was worth it. He hollered and yoo-hooed all the way down, enjoying every minute. As he landed, he pondered who his next victim would be. All he knew then was that his erection was coming to a pair of pants near him, and it was coming soon.


	3. Nice Girls Die Third

POTF: Rampage!

Part III

Nice Girls Die Third 

Time: Early Afternoon

Place: Kid Rock

Phil enjoyed his last bloodbath, and it did help his situation, but forgotten birthdays can have a devastating effect on ones genitalia. His penis had finally returned to normal size, but it wasn't what he wanted. To get _that, _he would have to kill again. Phil took a dip in Ricki Lake to clean of all that Curtis, than skyaked back home.

Phil returned to an empty house...further murder would have to wait. Just as he sat down to sing himself happy birthday, there was a knock on the door. Phil listened for a bit and heard a girly, friendly voice that was saying "Pim?...Phil?...anyone there?" Phil opened the door to be greeted by Debbie Berwick. "Oh, Hi Phil-a-wil-a-dingdong!" she said in her shrilly little voice. Phil told her Pim wasn't home, but Debbie didn't care. She offered to stay until Pim got home, and walked right in. A pitiful mistake...

Debbie sat down on the couch like she owned the place and turned the television set on. Phil sat back down and pondered his next victim. He couldn't concentrate though because of Debbie's chirpy laugh. "I really wish I could kill her..." Phil thought to himself in a murderous rage. And than it came to him, his next victim would be Debbie Berwick.

Phil sat down next to Debbie and looked at her. He studied her and wondered how he should do it. Debbie noticed him staring at her and blushed. Than Phil, noticing that she thought he liked her, played along.

"I never noticed how Berwick-y your name was." said Phil.

"Oh...STOP you big silly-willy" she responded

"I also never noticed how white the whites of your eyes were." Phil said.

"Oh... you go on!" she said playfully.

Phil edged closer to Debbie and she edged closer to him.

"And...I never noticed how beautifully crazy you talk with all your insky's and doosky's and changing names to end in 'dingdong'." Phil commented

Debbie moved right up next to Phil, "Tell me more..." she said.

Phil pulled something out of his pocket

"Ok... I never noticed how beautiful that penny whistle attached to your shirt is!" he said, attaching one to her shirt.

Debbie gave a confused look, "What are you tal...! Debbie shot through the roof in a flipping fury! Phil closed his eyes and shook his fists in a happy and childish manner, as Debbie twisted and turned in the sky. He ran outside to watch her drop from over 10000 feet. It took a while but he looked up when he started to hear, "daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarnnnnnnnNNNNSSSSSSKKKKKKKYYYYYY!" from the sky. Debbie landed on the pavement and exploded, fire and everything. Phil stuck out his hand and grabbed Debbie's head just as it flew by in the explosion. He looked at it and his penis got a little hard. He tossed the head up and kicked it at a dog that ate it and crapped all over it.

Phil did get a little hard from Debbie's death, but he _needed_ more. He went inside and patched the roof in under 5 minutes. As he used his new age tools to fix the roof, he wondered whom he would get next to "_help"_ him with his little problem. Would it be Lloyd, Barbara, Seth, Myron or maybe even...Keely!

Who knows? Who cares? THEY FORGOT HIS BIRTHDAY!

Until next time, watch Phil of the Future, weekends at 6:30! (usually)

OH! By the way, if that thing that Phil used to help him in Future Jock isn't called a penny whistle...my BAD! So I'm sorry Alyson Michalka, your crazy names and sexy body are too hot for me! Anyway, don't review my improper naming, review my story...ALL the cool kids are doing it!


	4. BarbaraQ

POTF: Rampage

Part IV

_Barbara-Q_

_Time: Afternoon_

_Place: Debbie's explosion site_

Phil quickly cleaned up Debbie, who was splattered all over the street. Phil's erection was somewhat hard, but he would need to kill a little more to achieve his birthday suprise. Phil sat on the couch and waited for someone or something to come by, so he could forget his forgotten birthday.

After just a few seconds of waiting for someone to come, someone opened the side door. Phil peeked in and saw his mom. He whipped out a shotgun and blasted her back out the door. He used a futuraistic device called Slow-Mo Glasses, that slow time down, to observe his mother go flying out the door. This murder was really cool because it was just like the movies. The frags blasted her, thrusting her hands and legs forward, until she hit the fence and slid down it.

"_PHIL! What did I tell you about killing the clones!" _screamed his Mother from the yard. Phil had only killed a clone as he regulary did everytime a clone showed its face.

"_Sorry Mom!" _Phil called back, while using a futuristic cleaning device to clean up the clone he had just mercilessly slaughtered. This murder wouldn't help his cause and he knew his real mom was next, all he needed to do was find a fun way to do it.

Barbara walked in and noticed a little red smudge on his face. She licked her finger and wiped it off... her last courteous gesture.

"_Hey, look what I bought for dinner tonight...a LIVE chicken!" _Barbara exclaimed in her crazy manner. Phil looked at the chicken, and finally knew how he would take out his next victim. Phil whipped out his Wizard and programmed a brain exchange with the chicken. Just then he pulled out a tank of gasoline and doused his mother with it. He lit a match on his sneaker and threw it at her. She lit up like a candle and started running around the kitchen in a hilarious manner. She screamed and flailed her arms around while Phil was rolling on the gorund with laughter as his mother ran circles around him. Phil laughed and laughed until his mother was nothing but a pile of ashes. He swept her up and dumped her in the garbage. His boner was definitely a little bigger, but was nothing compared to his birthday boner.

He took out his wizard and made a brain exchange with the chicken and a bird outside. It wasn't as cool as he thought it would be and got bored easily. He went outside and looked around. He couldn't imagine who his next victim would be but it would have to be good, because he was running out of time.

WHO'S NeXT? Keep reading and find out...


	5. Keely

POTF: Rampage!

_Part V_

_Keely _

_**Time: Late Afternoon**_

_**Place: Diffy House**_

Phil's erection was growing bigger as the murders continued, and he had no intention of stopping. Murder was his only solution because _nothing_ else could get him going other than birthday and murder, Phil was just like that. He felt it too, he knew that he only needed to murder one more person, and than he would have his boner. Phil grabbed the phone, dialed a number and waited for someone to answer. Phil had a sexy smile on...

"_**Keely, could you come over for a little bit?"**_

A quick chat and he hung up the phone...Keely was on her way. Phil grabbed ever possible gadget and weapon he could find...this was gonna be one hell of a murder! H e set up traps all over the house that Keely would surely fall right into.

_10 minutes later_

"Knock-Knock, Phil!" Keely yelled from the front door.

"_Its open!" _Phil yelled back.

Keely opned the door and an axe swung down, just missing the top of whatever crazy-ass sexy hairstyle she was wearing that day.

"_Too high...!"_ Phil muttered under is breath.

"_What was that?" _Keely asked as she hung up her coat.

"_Oh...I said umm... jew pie!...Yeah I made apple pie with matzah, you know, like those jews eat!" _Keely made a funny face.

"Cool_...sooo, where is it?"_

"_Oh, it was bad so i gave it to Curtis." _Phil said as he recalled Curtis's murder. He chuckled and couldn't wait for his boner.

"_What are you laughing at Phil?" _

"_Yo mama!" _Phil screamed right in Keely's face. They laughed and sat down.

"_Turn on the TV, wouldya Keel?"_

Keely took off her shoe and chucked it at the TV. Little did she know this was another one of Phil's booby traps. The TV exploded and glass shards flew all over. Luckily, none of them hit Phil or Keely.

"_Lucky!" _Phil exclaimed to Keely who had burst into laughter. Phil used a device from the future to clean it all up. Keely finished her lauging fit after a while and didn't even bother to explain why she thought it was so funny.

"_Ok, let's go outside and do something, Keely." _

"_Allright!' _

Phil opened the back door and went outside.

"_Can I take a quick picture of you, Keel?" _Phil asked

"_Ok! Where should I stand?" _

Phil had dug a hole 50 feet deep with spikes at the bottom in his backyard. This was fool proof...

"_Ok right there!"_ Phil said. Keely was standing over the trap and nothing was happening.

"_Jump up and down in that exact spot!"_ Keely did and still nothing. Phil was pissed.

"_GOD DAMNIT KEELY! YOU'RE TOO SEXY, HOT AND SKINNY! YOU CANT EVEN FALL THROUGH A FEW TWIGS AND LEAVES!"_

Keely blushed

Phil took out a knife and ran towards Keely. "_You forgot my birthday and now you'll die! Just like Pim, Curtis, Debbie Berwick and my mom!" _Phil jumped on Keely and lifted the knife over his head.

All of the sudden the door busted open. Lloyd tackled Phil and knocked the knife out of his hand. Phil whipped out a shotgun and aimed it at the two.

"_You should not have forgotten my birthday!"_ Phil yelled.

"_WAIT A SECOND! You had your birthday yesterday, you and Keely got drunk and porked all night, don't you remember?" _Lloyd said.

"_Oh YEAH! That was so hot! Sorry I killed everyone!"_

"_That's allright!" _

Phil jumped on the skyak and ran over Bradly Benjamin Farmer, and his boner was ready! He rode up to Keely and and showed her his little friend which was practically popping out of his pants.

"_What do you say we pork till we drop, Keely? _Phil said.

"_Allright! And this time we'll have an experience you'll never forget!"_

And than they porked, oh... they porked for 10 whole sexy days!

EL FIN


End file.
